Coaching is premised on the belief that you (and I) are already whole, resourceful, capable and creative

Wednesday 20 September 2017

Assumptions are Fear, one way or another.


Assumptions are devoid of the present moment.

A life-truth.

Try and imagine a moment-in-life full of assumptions about a person, place or an event. 

Now observe how consumed you were in that thought while you experienced that moment?

Were you really 'Present' to experience the purity of the moment?

Was that assumption but a projection of your fear, your anxiety, your doubts.

What would you do differently next time?


A cue lies in CURIOSITY. 

Might not be easy at first to be curious.  But you can practice curiosity.

CUE : 'What am I eager to know about this person, place or event that I don't already know?!' 
At a higher level you can even cue yourself to look for fun : 'What do I not know that might be fun to know and experience?' 
Sense the release you feel at the thought. Notice how light-hearted you are on your way to the awaited moment!

Try It.



Tuesday 3 January 2017

I Will (To Me & my Coachee)






In the place between I wish and I will

I'll meet you.

And ask you how and what

is it that you really wish for.


I will listen to you with my heart and being
and arouse your spirit to meet mine.
The authentic minutes will fuel your sharing 
and power our intention.

In comfort, in concert, in a co-partnership 
of seeking and questioning the whats 
and exploring the promise of the must 
and embracing the energy of the will.

Because I Will is the only truth 
we can be certain of; 
the only truth that we can indubitably cheer on. 
Because I Will is 
the only future that is in our power to control.


We will harness the I Will.



{Written today when I needed to coach my own spirit, heal my battered mind of desolate thoughts and doubt-churn, a morning when I am craving the balm of inspiration.}


Tuesday 30 August 2016

We can be our own Coach!


 The other day, a long-standing Client shared that he felt tempted to book a session with me and then felt reassured by a surge of confidence which he was able to absorb and initiated action in the situation. For me, this signified notable growth in his ability to dig-into the resources gained in the preceding months of coached conversations. In his words, “…feeling confident about applying new ways of doing and thinking…”

What stayed with me were the words ‘I imagined how our conversation will go and accordingly…’ This to me is the deepest endorsement of the efficacy of a Coaching intervention and the intrinsic accountability-led piece in the Coaching process. It gets communicated in many different ways and in personalised expressions from Clients—all pointing towards this transformative belief that the resource is within us to work with, in the face of the challenges life throws at us.

I've heard similar expressions, in different nuances—“I like this new approach to find solutions hopeful and refreshing…”, essentially meaning I feel hopeful that I can apply myself and work my way out of challenges. Or when a Client said, “Nothing seems to unsettle me these days…!”—I hear these as leaps of faith in capability, enhanced clarity around life situations, knowledge of inner strength & of the values that are at the core of it and the optimism derived from this resource of inner knowing.

This also means that my role in this Client’s life is growing redundant or requires less frequent intervention. Perhaps not so lucrative for business but very fundamental to Why we Coach!

What is also true is what preceded this Transformation – the many months of committed, engaged, time-consuming, invested, wholehearted enquiry-led sessions. Also many sessions that were tough, slow to trust, non-revealing, challenging and not so rewarding on some days.

So this is the Truth: only once we have been coached and have traversed the transformative process from hopelessness to optimism, dependency to self reliance, from the habit of externalizing to feeling empowered & owning our truth, will we know that many-a-time in our life we can be our own Coach.

And this Truth that we all can intuitively adopt a coaching approach to build a life that is adaptable, meaningful and empowered is the inner credential we carry as self-Coaches.



Monday 22 August 2016

Feel Good is Crucially the Reason we Coach


Met an Executive Coach the other day who expressed a different perspective on Life Coaching from how I saw it till then.

{A disclaimer at the very outset: I have a stake in both life and executive coaching and my win will surely be if both grow bigger in the individual and organizational consideration-set as immensely valuable, effective and result oriented interventions that can lead to measurable growth and improvement}

This senior internal Executive Coach of a leading technology services organization described Life Coaching as ‘feel good’ coaching. Her views on Executive coaching, (as compared to Life coaching) was that it is more structured, quantifiable and hence measurable.

While the Coaching industry in India goes through its adolescence and tries to rid itself of the image of its intangibility, let’s try understand this better through this very example. Let’s imagine a scenario in the case of this technology services behemoth – How will it be if Executive Coaching measurably prolongs an 18-month employee attrition cycle to 19 months and eventually to an ideal 22-24 month cycle! Can you imagine the impact of the coaching initiative? I just did and visualized the rush to hire coaches to address all level of employees in this organization. Let us next imagine a more contained impact – a coached employee’s ratings going up from 2 to 4. Whoop! That is a momentous impact and if a sponsor initiated Executive Coaching intervention can convincingly take credit for that – the future of Executive Coaching has arrived decisively!

At this point, we must take note that in Executive Coaching what is critical is the buy-in from the Coachee after he has answered the ‘what’s in it for me?’  & ‘why me?’ questions for himself. Other areas of sensitivity: the reality that a Coaching intervention commences via a nomination (sponsor-led) and is very often (seen as) led by HR. All of this inherently frames the first line of mistrust that the organization has to deal with and assuage. To me, the rest of the process is similar to any other niche of Coaching (that has been duly named). Of course, the tools applied will be specific to each intervention.

At this point, let us look at Life Coaching and what it can impact. A Life Coach, in all cases, is directly hired and paid a fee (directly) by the Client (an exception is an adolescent where the Coach is hired by the parents). The fee is at an average 3K-5K an hour/ per session, for a minimum number of sessions. Safe to assume that there is Client buy-in. The Client has decided to invest money to impact, streamline, perhaps kick-start a part of life from a limbo, directionless or energy sapping position. The trigger could be in a simple belief that life has the potential to be much better, that there is scope for enhanced clarity and purpose for life ahead.

In Coaching circles it is said that every type of Coaching engagement becomes about Life Coaching from the 3rd – 4th session onward. It makes sense, as work too is an integral part of life and cannot be simplified and explored in isolation. Any effective Coaching intervention is able to view life as holistically as the Client is able to share of them with the Coach.

What does the Life Coach typically get hired for? Here I share an extract from my website (LifeAlignCoaching.com)
Do you often wonder about your strengths, values and life-purpose?
Are you feeling at a crossroad; that a deeper and more meaningful success may be possible in your life, career or venture?
Are you raring to maximize your abilities, leverage your strengths, know and manage your weaknesses, have more satisfying relationships or become an authentic, effective individual?
Is there a longing for greater clarity, confidence, calm, balance or sense of purpose?
Are you often yearning for focus, looking to create a plan and move past your doubts into action, to make a genuine and sustainable transformation?
Is there a best version of you awaiting expression?
Do you want to manage your time more effectively? And commit and keep to deadlines?
These are only some reasons that a Client signs me on for.

All such reasons and the outcome of interventions thereon become measurable when the basic tenet of the Coaching intervention is set crystal clear right at the beginning. ‘Establishing the Coaching Agreement’—no. 2 out of the 11 Competencies laid down by ICF International Coach Federation—is absolutely paramount to begin the process. This naturally ensures result orientation, measurement and assessment at the end of the process. Objective setting is empowering as it sets a clear goal and framework for the coaching conversation to move within and ahead. And it is empowering as much for the Client.

And if the desired objective is feel good about a specific issue in life – that too can be broken down into ‘what does feel good mean for you?’/ ‘how will you know you have succeeded?’/ ‘how will success look like for you at the end of this session?’

For the uninitiated, in Executive Coaching setting up the coaching agreement and goal setting is primarily done with the sponsor. More specific session goals and progress thereon are agreed upon with the Coachee from session to session.

As an intervention model, Coaching, in all its niches, is singularly result-oriented.
 
In my experience the real distinction that Coaching brings (from other interventions like Therapy) is accountability. As a Coach, I work with Clients to be responsible for their thoughts, feelings and habits and take action that will challenge their comfort zones, create new habits and augur transformation. I collude less with the emotional self and more with the desire for growth that is overshadowed by the emotional self. I focus on the past only in terms of how the attitudes developed then are impacting the present and their future.


In Coaching - taking action; holding a vision of what is possible for the client beyond the story; being open to challenging the Client to discover, create and choose new ways of doing and guiding the Client towards accountability is the big difference that we Coaches can make. And it becomes tangible only when the Unit of Success has been laid out at the time of establishing the agreement.  That is imperative.

Success, you would agree, is directly about the ‘feel good’ for the Client and that ultimately is the essence of Coaching. Feel good is about oneself, about knowing one’s strengths and learning to value and utilise them, about one’s worth at home and workplace and engineering self to build value; feel good is about growing in self awareness, confidence, conviction and clarity about one’s inner resource and capability to work things out; feel good is about knowing and preparing to construct a future capably and intentionally; feel good is about becoming accountable to self and setting and delivering deadlines set and received. This list is ongoing but we can see ourselves in the middle of at least a couple of these. This is a Coach’s delivery, the rest is only nomenclature to help market ourselves in a niche we feel comfortable to deliver and find Clients in – Life Coach, Executive Coach, Accountability Coach, Wellness Coach and so on.

Of course, there is specialised Training, Tools and Techniques that a Coach will do well to learn, reskill in and acquire mastery in, to better their skills in listening, questioning and holding the space.

And in the final assessment, if the result is ‘feel good’ for the client, the sponsor, the employee as well as for the larger organization as measured against the objective set up at the beginning, it is an absolute win in every way. Simply put, the measurability of Coaching lies in the softness or tangibility of the objective set and that steers the delivery of the critical ‘Feel Good’ at the closure of the intervention.

Nivedita Das Narayan, CPC, PCC
Executive & Life Coach
LifeAlign Coaching
Skype: niveditadn
Mobile: +91 7738143477

Monday 23 May 2016

The Crossroads of Should and Must

If there's only one thing you read today, make this the one.
https://medium.com/@elleluna/the-crossroads-of-should-and-must-90c75eb7c5b0#.y9utc9xhd


Choosing Must is a daily practice,
a recurring choice.

Just because we chose Should yesterday doesn’t mean we’ll choose Must today. And just because we chose Must today doesn’t mean we won’t slip back into Should tomorrow.
This is a Must read

by elle luna
elleluna.com